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"I just bought Disney Princess Party Volume Two from Amazon!"

Do you want to share on Facebook? Twitter? By email? Amazon prompts me to alert everyone of this purchase.  I do not.

Waving your purchase history across the Internet either encourages thievery of your mail or disdain from your online friends, who will probably mark you as offensive or, worse, boring, as you brag about your newly acquired possessions.  In the case of Disney Princess Party Volume Two, though, I am not worried about either of these scenarios.  I am mostly just embarrassed.

I am actually not even sure of the plot of Disney Princess Party Volume Two.  Henry insisted on borrowing it from the library two weeks ago and the Princesses promptly went missing.  We have fruitlessly searched in every imaginable place, logical and un-, finally admitting defeat at the delicate hands of the Princesses.

What next to do but go to the library and ask to renew Disney Princess Party Volume Two.  Abashedly, I walked by the Amish romances to the front desk.  "I can renew it this one time," the librarian told me, "but Disney Princess Party Volume Two is on hold, so it needs to be returned soon."

"On hold? Like someone has reserved Disney Princess Party Volume Two?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

I don't even know what the movie is about, but I do know that it only received 2.5 out of 5 stars on Amazon.com. Also, the Rock County Library system does not even have Disney Princess Party Volume One.

Despite normal library protocols concerning videos on hold, since we are such good library patrons who have only lost one book in the past three years (the super sketchy 1978 Sesame Street book "Big Bird Joins the Circus," in which Big Bird is kidnapped by the "something bad Brothers" and forced to perform in their circus until he is rescued by Snuffleupagus), Disney Princess Party Volume Two was checked in and checked back out, giving us a one week extension in which to find the movie.

We returned home to search for the Princesses again, this time with greater earnestness but similarly dismal results (with the exception of the discovery of a treasure chest of tiny Lego pieces which were promptly dumped out and scattered about every room). This has left me no choice but to buy Disney Princess Party Volume Two.

Remarkably, or perhaps unremarkably given the approval rating of the Amazon Republic, Disney Princess Party Volume Two is very inexpensive.  "As low as $.01."  Of course shipping adds a bit, but, all said and done, it beats the library fine.

So you see, it would be impossible for me to share my purchase of the Disney Princess Party Volume Two without a great amount of explanation.  And with only room for 250 characters, it would be impossible.  I would, though, like everyone to know that I recently purchased a peach colored Jansport backpack and also a hand operated cream separator from Ukraine on Amazon.com.  No explanation necessary, I'm just living the dream.