The Dog Yeller
A friend of mine recently employed the skills of the renowned television personality "The Dog Whisperer" to help her to train her dog. I was skeptical of this. Why would you ever need to have someone train your dog? Ah well, I suppose that if you didn't possess the skills that I have when it comes to interacting with animals, you could rely on the help of a professional.
When I was in high school, on the cross country team, my friend Dan and I would regularly encounter a great big German Shepherd on our training runs. Dan would be ahead of me pleading with the dog, trying to convince him trying to go home until I finally caught up to them, at which point I would yell "go home!" in my most threatening voice. The dog, who had been happily playing with Dan, would look at me in terror before turning and running back to the safety of its yard.
What can I say? I have a way with animals.
Last spring Sarah and her friend Merick walked across the field from Sarah's house to my parents' house. Poor Merick, she was freezing cold and covered with mud. Josh and I were there, so we met her for the first time. We all left the house at the same time, Josh and I in our Tahoe and Sarah and Merick on foot. This time, though, they took the longer, less muddy route on the road. Sarah's dog Gretta was with them of course and so, naturally, my parents' dog Optimus Prime was also following along behind them. As we watched them walk down the driveway, I could see Sarah and Merick clapping their hands and yelling at Optimus to go home. As we drove up to them in our truck, which was completely covered in road dust, no longer black but a dirty yellow, Merick turned to me with a pleasant smile on her face. Rather then acknowledge this very nice girl, who I just met for the first time, I rolled down the window, stuck my head out, and, using my most aggressive dog dealing voice, shouted "Optimus! Go home!" right in Merrick's face Then, without further pleasantries, I hopped out of the Tahoe and begin to chase the dog back up the driveway, all the while yelling at him in the most effective, but now embarrassing, manner imaginable.
A way with animals, perhaps. With people? Probably not.
When I was in high school, on the cross country team, my friend Dan and I would regularly encounter a great big German Shepherd on our training runs. Dan would be ahead of me pleading with the dog, trying to convince him trying to go home until I finally caught up to them, at which point I would yell "go home!" in my most threatening voice. The dog, who had been happily playing with Dan, would look at me in terror before turning and running back to the safety of its yard.
What can I say? I have a way with animals.
Last spring Sarah and her friend Merick walked across the field from Sarah's house to my parents' house. Poor Merick, she was freezing cold and covered with mud. Josh and I were there, so we met her for the first time. We all left the house at the same time, Josh and I in our Tahoe and Sarah and Merick on foot. This time, though, they took the longer, less muddy route on the road. Sarah's dog Gretta was with them of course and so, naturally, my parents' dog Optimus Prime was also following along behind them. As we watched them walk down the driveway, I could see Sarah and Merick clapping their hands and yelling at Optimus to go home. As we drove up to them in our truck, which was completely covered in road dust, no longer black but a dirty yellow, Merick turned to me with a pleasant smile on her face. Rather then acknowledge this very nice girl, who I just met for the first time, I rolled down the window, stuck my head out, and, using my most aggressive dog dealing voice, shouted "Optimus! Go home!" right in Merrick's face Then, without further pleasantries, I hopped out of the Tahoe and begin to chase the dog back up the driveway, all the while yelling at him in the most effective, but now embarrassing, manner imaginable.
A way with animals, perhaps. With people? Probably not.
Please, please, please add the story of how you trained Jack not to kill your chickens...puh-lease! I imagine you are the only former beauty queen ever with such abilities to make animals mind you. Glad to be reading again :)
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