Post Party Recap

After an evening out of the house, interacting with real life humans, I must take stock of myself, replaying all events and revelations.  I think that I fared alright, leaving minimal awkwardness in my wake, and so I can be relieved in that respect.  But, at the end of this evening, as always:

• I continue to ponder the merits of donkey ownership vs. goat ownership
• either way, your grass trimming responsibilities diminish
• you can milk a goat
• a donkey will protect your other animals
• as demonstrated this evening, at our neighbors' blue grass party / impending trampoline disaster experiment, two children can ride happily atop a donkey if another child is able to lead the donkey
• as demonstrated in Rural Memories magazine, two small children can ride happily in a cart behind a goat
• Josh remains unimpressed by either option - "But Josh!," I press,  "what if we had fifty goats and we hooked them up to a cart!  Think about how fast it could go!"  "Probably still about the same speed as one goat," he counters. 
• I am puzzled by what seems to be the disproportionate number of chairs that have deposited me to the floor.  Is it me or the chair? 
• Once, as a freshman in college, as I flung open a door on my way outside, a boy in the dorm remarked, "you sure aren't 'dainty' are you?"  I try not to make dainty presuppositions, but did I fool the chairs? 
• When I was in junior high, playing Y league basketball, there was a girl on the rival team who we always called the "big girl," as in, "I've got the big girl."  Years later, I heard this same refrain on the court, but before I could correct the opposing team, "actually, she's not that big, and her name is Christina," I realized they were referring to me. 
• When I was a senior in high school, at the wedding reception of my tiny cousin and his tinier wife, my sister and I timidly entered the dance floor at the behest of the DJ.  While we waited, towering in front of a group of five foot tall bridesmaids, for Whitney to throw her bouquet, from the sidelines Josh heard another of the wedding guests "five bucks says the big one gets it." 
• But these chairs!  Oh these chairs! 
• The desk in the biology room - you gave no appearance that your right rear leg would buckle upon receiving a quarter of my weight! 
• The seemingly sturdy child sized chair in the music room - well, I apologize for that, but still...other older kids were well received by similiarly sized chairs.
• The dining chair in my father-in-law's kitchen - I sit in my antique chairs everyday without incident, so why should all joints on this particular old chair suddenly split and explode in all directions?
• The several wooden fold up chairs that have chosen to fold up while I remained sitting in them - could it be that my particular method of sitting puts me in a position susceptible to the tricks of chairs?  Or are these chairs as fickle as I suspect? 
• And most recently - tonight!  The porch furniture gives no indication of weakness nor warning of being simply ornamental!  I'm only glad that I was able to unfold the metal frame and return it to a passable semblance of its previous state. 
• It's getting late, but I must send a warning to my dining room collection: be careful, my friends, for if you send me to such indignities as did these aforementioned chairs, you shall surely see yourself atop my next campfire.